When They Were Younger

Recently my sweet friend Alycia asked me a question in a comment on my other blog. I thought I'd take some time today to answer her question.

She asked how I managed homeschooling when my children were young. She shared that she sometimes feels like she is not able to balance everything... homeschooling, lesson plans, what she thinks they should be learning/doing, whether she is doing enough, etc.

What an excellent question, and an excellent topic! I love to hear other homeschool moms discuss the issues of how to get "it all" done (that elusive "it all!" What is it???) and share ideas about how to balance all of the responsibilities that come with the task of schooling our children ourselves. I used to think it would get significantly easier as my children got older. I felt tugged in so many directions when they were in those toddler/preschool years and as they got into early elementary grades. I longed for the days when it would finally "even out." In my mind we would finally look like that serene family on the front of the Abeka or Sonlight catalog.

I have to admit, things have gotten smoother for us the past few years, but not because the task got easier or because I suddenly got more competent! I need God's grace every bit as much now as I did in those early years, and He meets me each day with a fresh supply. Okay, on to Alycia's question. I think there are two issues at stake: What is "it all" and "enough," and how to balance the "it all/enough" with the rest of... life!

When I started out during the preschool/ early years I was QUITE ambitious. I was coming off of teaching public school, a career I dearly loved and for which I was still enthusiastic. Now I could teach whatever I wanted! Whenever I wanted! All of it! All day! Every day!! Yippee! Additionally, not long after I started planning, I got my hands on a copy of The Well-Trained Mind, so not only was I going to do a bang-up job, I was going to do it classically. Oh, the joy!

As my oldest started her Kindergarten and early elementary years, and my son came up two years behind her I was really Charlotte Mason-y. By God's grace, I had come across Charlotte Mason's books and some wonderful websites, so I took TWTM methods and Mason-ized them pretty well. Lots of outdoor time. Short lessons. Books, books, books. I think that was the only way I stayed sane trying to do all that TWTM entailed. I took things in small chunks and stuck with what was really worth doing. But there was so much! And, like Alycia (and many other homeschool moms) I seemed to tread a fine line each day between being overwhelmed with all we were doing and yet feeling like I wasn't doing enough.

A few years ago I took some time to really look at what we needed to do. First I went to Scripture, my primary guide. According to Scripture my husband and I were commanded to bring our children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4) and impress God's Word on their hearts as we went about our lives (Deut. 6:7). I've read, as I'm sure you have, all of the scriptures pertaining to raising godly children. I reminded myself of this primary goal. Beyond this, really, there was no specific Biblical guideline as to what school subjects we were to do. But there was another Scripture which pointed to how I could pinpoint those. According to Romans 13 we are to submit to governing authorities. So, what did those in authority over me say I was to teach? According to the laws of my state I was to teach "reading, spelling, grammar, math and good citizenship." The law also stated I was to do this in a "bona fide manner" using a "written curriculum." God's Word plus 5 subjects. To this day if I become overwhelmed with too many subjects, projects, ideas or extracurriculars I remind myself that I am largely bringing that upon myself. If I simply pare it down to what God's Word and my state say, it's doable. That's the "it all" and "enough."

Now, how to balance that with the rest of life? I don't think God would give us the above guidelines and then give us an impossible scheme into which to fit them. I also don't think He is going to allow us a sense of "balance" in homeschooling if the rest of the priorities He's given us are out of whack. As wives, we are to be keepers at home ("busy at home.") We are to love our husbands. As important as the homeschooling of our children is, it is not our primary calling. As much as homeschooling our children requires the use of our unique Holy Spirit-given gifts, I believe that Scripture teaches that our husbands are to be the primary recipients of those gifts. I remember once reading a homeschooling mom (in a Christian homeschool publication) who said that if she had lots of energy left at 4:30 she probably didn't put as much energy into her kids as she should have. I couldn't disagree more! Where's her energy for her husband? The hours after 4:30 are my primary hours with my sweet husband. And while I have days when I'm wiped out by the time he gets home, I can't imagine planning for him to always get the leftovers of my time and energy, or feeling guilty if I had energy for him! For me, the key to finding "balance" was to find a way to make our school life (as important as it was) not detract from or take away from the bigger picture- a God-glorifying marriage and home. This, for ME, required a schedule. It required dropping out of some good-but-not-best activities and co-ops. It required discipline in the area of not hanging out with other moms and friends for afternoons on end. I've posted before how I discovered that homeschooling, for us, needed to happen... at home. (I had to put the "home" back in "homeschooling!") That may not be how it needs to be for everyone, but that's how it has worked for us.

I had to designate certain times/days for certain subjects. I had to make certain times of the day off limits for the phone or email. (Usually I only return phone calls or email in the afternoons, in that "lull" between after school and dinner.) I designated specific days of the week for working on different ministries in which I was involved. (Ex. Monday I planned my Childrens Choir lesson for the next week, Tuesday I planned my BSF lesson, Wednesday through Friday I worked on our school plans, always trying plan at least two weeks ahead.) Most of this planning, by the way, happened e-a-r-l-y in the morning, too, after my quiet time. I commited to spending a few minutes daily going over their work from that day and stuff their folders for the next day/week. I got serious about making doable meal plans and chore charts. (Managers of Their Homes was a terrific help to me in this area.)

These are habits that were hard for me- the right-brained, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants procrastinator- to get into, but they still benefit me to this day (and are still hard at times!). Oh, how I hope I can still do this when our new little addition gets here!

I hope this answers your great question, Alycia! I can't say I'm any sort of expert, but this is what we did. By God's grace, we are still on this homeschooling journey and I'm learning more and more as I go along!

Just Say No!

**Originally posted last year after our first six weeks. I was thinking about this again yesterday, so I decided to post it again... :)
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Has it really been six weeks since we started our school year? A quick look at my "year-at-a-glance" schedule in my planbook says it has. Wow. I look at how infrequently I have blogged lately and I can see evidence of how school has "taken over" for now. But, it's as it should be, and we are really clicking along. Everything that needs to get done is getting done, and look at me... even having time to blog after all!

A piece of advice I read a few years ago in a homeschooling book has struck a new chord with me this year. (Actually, it started resonating with me last year.) It was honestly a new thought to me when I read it. It was this: "Stay home." Hm. "Well, that must be for people who don't really have many involvements or who can't handle too many outside commitments," I thought at the time. I went along, continuing our fully-scheduled, frequently-mobile, gone-most-days life for a couple more years. At the beginning of last year I realized that God was impressing on my heart that WE needed to "stay home." As in HOMEschooling. At home. We have, over the years, enjoyed various co-ops, frequent field trips, and getting together with friends at a moment's notice. Mostly, if I am honest with myself, because of the "s" word. (Homeschoolers know this is the word "socialization." As in, "are they getting enough.") Last school year I took every single one of our organizations, co-ops, teams, social commitments, etc. off of our plate. Then I prayed for the Lord's guidance as to what to put back on. No co-ops went back on. That was a hard one, and I made difficult phone calls to some friends with whom I had enjoyed several years of "co-op"ing. (And who totally understood our decision!) We opted to not do sports teams for a time. (Note that we didn't opt not to play sports or enjoy physical activity-- just no organized teams and all that they entail.) Those were the two biggies. No Girl Scouts. (Okay, that was a big "whew" for me. Just being honest here.) Then I decided not to sign up for too many field trips. As I reflect back on last year, I realize that although I felt behind, mostly because of traveling, we were academically on our way back on track, and covered more ground than I could've dreamed. And the kids both had full social lives and plenty of outside experiences. It worked! Imagine!

This year is much the same story. We've been at it about six weeks, and I have closely guarded our days at home. It struck me this week that each day we spend at home is a "no" to something else. Literally. Every single day there is something else we have been invited to do, or an outside opportunity or class is offered somewhere. Even when we are at home, the phone will ring. There is an opportunity right there for at least one of us (usually me) to become involved, at least momentarily, in something other than school. That's not to say that we spend our days chained to our desks. In fact, time on task actually affords us some margin to say "yes" when I feel like it or have a lighter day. It reminds me of Psalm 16:6, "The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places." It's nice. There's freedom.

It's hard, though! I remember reading a few years ago in Genesis 15 about when God was about to make His covenant with Abraham. Abraham carefully prepared his sacrifice according to God's instructions, exactly the animals God had specified, cut exactly the way God had said, laid out just as God had directed... and then "birds of prey came down on the carcasses, but Abram drove them away." (Gen. 15:11) It wasn't the birds' fault, they were just doing what birds of prey do, looking for a meal! But it was Abram's job to carefully guard what he had set before the Lord. It reminded me of my life, in a way. So often I can be seen, flailing away (usually figuratively, but sometimes literally!) at the "birds of prey." God has directed me to set aside this time with my children. Like Abram, I was asked to leave the familiar. I have left the familiar territory of a career and of public school life, and ventured into this land of stay-at-home-momhood and homeschooling. In preparation I have meticulously prepared our days, to the best of my understanding, according to God's instructions. But I must carefully guard what I have brought before the Lord. If someone plans a park day or a field trip, that's great! For someone. But not necessarily for me. Or not necessarily today. If my phone rings I am certainly free to talk to that person, but maybe not right now. Today's technology actually affords me the opportunity to find out who it was, what they needed, and call them back at a more opportune time. The co-ops, classes and teams that are available are wonderful opportunities for many families, but maybe not for our family. None of it is inherently bad or wrong, most of it is good, in fact. But not all of it is best. My "birds of prey" are not necessarily someone else's "birds of prey." What might be a distraction now might be a welcome diversion another time.

So, we have our school days at home. We have 2 days per week when we do have outside involvements- afternoons only. Currently if we are gone one day, we stay home the next. If I'm out one night (for a meeting or whatever) I'm home the next night. We spend more days home each week than out. The subjects that I feel are "key" are touched on every single day. There is much more consistency and predictablilty, and I am... calmer (though frequently flailing and flapping at those birds!) The kids are thriving, social, learning, and happy.

A "no" to something good is often a "yes" to something better. Don't be afraid to say "Just say no!"

Because I Can

That's sometimes my answer to people when they ask why I homeschool. Simply put, that's it in a nutshell. Love it!

That's also why I'm calling off school at our house for the next two weeks. :)

I need t-i-m-e to work on our house (which we're getting ready to put on the market), prepare our end-of-the-year Awana awards ceremonies and leader dinner, and plan for our upcoming mission trip to China. There is NO room in my brain at the moment for grammar sheets and math problems, and I need all hands on deck to help out. I'm LOVING the fact that we've "stuck with it" this year in our weekly school schedule, because it has really given us the margin to take a couple of weeks off and tend to life. (We didn't take "spring break" a couple of weeks ago when everyone else did, so we've got major spring fever!)

Oh, and I haven't told the kids yet. They're gonna flip. Breakfast will be fun this morning... :)

Have a great week!

Cutting and Pasting

It's Friday afternoon! Time to cut and paste!

No, not for an art project (we usually do those on Mondays now) but for lesson planning. For me, one of the benefits of doing my lesson planning on my computer is that at the end of the week I can simply cut what we didn't get done and paste it onto next week. If I already have things already down for the next week, I simply (you guessed it!) cut it and paste it later in the week, or on the next week. This has worked so much better for me than writing in a plan book and drawing numerous arrows or erasing.

When I sit down to plan, I usually plan two weeks at a time. Anytime I have projected any further than that, I have almost inevitably had to totally redo them. (I have already done my planning for the year, so I know roughly where we should be in each subject. My weekly planning involves specific page numbers and activities.) On Friday afternoons I look at the upcoming week, making adjustments where necessary, and then plan the following week as well. Of course, it's impossible to know exactly how long certain chapters/units/lessons might take. It's also impossible to know ahead of time who's going to get sick any given week. For instance, as I'm looking at my plans for next week (that I projected two weeks ago) I see that I thought we'd be farther along in History, but we've covered more ground in Literature than I thought we would, so I tweak things. And "tweaking" looks so much nicer when it's done on the computer, because you just cut, paste, print it out and it's a nice new sheet that looks like it's been that way all along! It looks so... together!

There are several reputable homeschool planning software programs available, but for now I just use my trusty Excel program. I created my own forms, but if you have Excel you can download a great weekly planner from Donna Young's site that you can modify digitally.

Cutting and pasting school plans may not be as fun as an art project, but a well-planned week can be a beautiful thing!

Re"vamping"

It is SO great to co-op with a good friend! I just spent the afternoon with my dear friend, whose daughter co-ops with my daughter for four subjects: science, writing, Texas History, and literature. We have had a wonderful start to our year so far, meeting one day each week, but the science the girls have been doing has been all-consuming.

I have to admit, I didn't think BJU Life Science was going to be that hard. I am quite impressed with how thorough and detailed it is! The chapters are very information-rich, and the activities in the activity manual are quite good. But it is... alot. For us. (We've been doing it all.) The girls have been such troopers so far, but the curriculum was beginning to overtake some other areas, so we took some time today to rethink how we're teaching it, and to streamline the curriculum a bit so that it won't take so much time away from other core subjects. This is one of the benefits of homeschooling, in my opinion. As the teacher, I can look at the whole picture, not just a certain subject area. And as the parent, I can consider the whole child.

So... don't be afraid to revamp things a bit when curriculum starts to suck the life right out of you!

Just Say No!

Has it really been six weeks since we started our school year? A quick look at my "year-at-a-glance" schedule in my planbook says it has. Wow. I look at how infrequently I have blogged lately and I can see evidence of how school has "taken over" for now. But, it's as it should be, and we are really clicking along. Everything that needs to get done is getting done, and look at me... even having time to blog after all!

A piece of advice I read a few years ago in a homeschooling book has struck a new chord with me this year. (Actually, it started resonating with me last year.) It was honestly a new thought to me when I read it. It was this: "Stay home." Hm. "Well, that must be for people who don't really have many involvements or who can't handle too many outside commitments," I thought at the time. I went along, continuing our fully-scheduled, frequently-mobile, gone-most-days life for a couple more years. At the beginning of last year I realized that God was impressing on my heart that WE needed to "stay home." As in HOMEschooling. At home. We have, over the years, enjoyed various co-ops, frequent field trips, and getting together with friends at a moment's notice. Mostly, if I am honest with myself, because of the "s" word. (Homeschoolers know this is the word "socialization." As in, "are they getting enough.") Last school year I took every single one of our organizations, co-ops, teams, social commitments, etc. off of our plate. Then I prayed for the Lord's guidance as to what to put back on. No co-ops went back on. That was a hard one, and I made difficult phone calls to some friends with whom I had enjoyed several years of "co-op"ing. (And who totally understood our decision!) We opted to not do sports teams for a time. (Note that we didn't opt not to play sports or enjoy physical activity-- just no organized teams and all that they entail.) Those were the two biggies. No Girl Scouts. (Okay, that was a big "whew" for me. Just being honest here.) Then I decided not to sign up for too many field trips. As I reflect back on last year, I realize that although I felt behind, mostly because of traveling, we were academically on our way back on track, and covered more ground than I could've dreamed. And the kids both had full social lives and plenty of outside experiences. It worked! Imagine!

This year is much the same story. We've been at it about six weeks, and I have closely guarded our days at home. It struck me this week that each day we spend at home is a "no" to something else. Literally. Every single day there is something else we have been invited to do, or an outside opportunity or class is offered somewhere. Even when we are at home, the phone will ring. There is an opportunity right there for at least one of us (usually me) to become involved, at least momentarily, in something other than school. That's not to say that we spend our days chained to our desks. In fact, time on task actually affords us some margin to say "yes" when I feel like it or have a lighter day. It reminds me of Psalm 16:6, "The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places." It's nice. There's freedom.

It's hard, though! I remember reading a few years ago in Genesis 15 about when God was about to make His covenant with Abraham. Abraham carefully prepared his sacrifice according to God's instructions, exactly the animals God had specified, cut exactly the way God had said, laid out just as God had directed... and then "birds of prey came down on the carcasses, but Abram drove them away." (Gen. 15:11) It wasn't the birds' fault, they were just doing what birds of prey do, looking for a meal! But it was Abram's job to carefully guard what he had set before the Lord. It reminded me of my life, in a way. So often I can be seen, flailing away (usually figuratively, but sometimes literally!) at the "birds of prey." God has directed me to set aside this time with my children. Like Abram, I was asked to leave the familiar. I have left the familiar territory of a career and of public school life, and ventured into this land of stay-at-home-momhood and homeschooling. In preparation I have meticulously prepared our days, to the best of my understanding, according to God's instructions. But I must carefully guard what I have brought before the Lord. If someone plans a park day or a field trip, that's great! For someone. But not necessarily for me. Or not necessarily today. If my phone rings I am certainly free to talk to that person, but maybe not right now. Today's technology actually affords me the opportunity to find out who it was, what they needed, and call them back at a more opportune time. The co-ops, classes and teams that are available are wonderful opportunities for many families, but maybe not for our family. None of it is inherently bad or wrong, most of it is good, in fact. But not all of it is best. My "birds of prey" are not necessarily someone else's "birds of prey." What might be a distraction now might be a welcome diversion another time.

So, we have our school days at home. We have 2 days per week when we do have outside involvements- afternoons only. Currently if we are gone one day, we stay home the next. If I'm out one night (for a meeting or whatever) I'm home the next night. We spend more days home each week than out. The subjects that I feel are "key" are touched on every single day. There is much more consistency and predictablilty, and I am... calmer (though frequently flailing and flapping at those birds!) The kids are thriving, social, learning, and happy.

A "no" to something good is often a "yes" to something better. Don't be afraid to say "Just say no!"

Finding the Junk Drawer

Remember when you moved into your current house or apartment? All of the boxes labeled "kitchen" were stacked in the kitchen and it was time to decide where everything belonged. I remember standing in the middle of my empty kitchen deciding where it "felt" like the potholders should go. Where do I want my plates to be? Which drawer should be the silverware drawer? (Most importantly, which drawer will be the junk drawer?? In my current house I gave myself two!) If you're like me, there was just a certain "feel" to it. There are usually some commonalities (like putting silverware in a drawer rather than in a cabinet), but pretty much when you moved in you put things where it felt best for them to go, and where they would be accessible to you in your daily "kitchen life." Maybe you put things where they were in the house where you grew up (or maybe your mom was with you helping you unpack and she put them there!) just out of habit, but since all kitchens are different you had to make changes to fit your style and your available space.

It occurred to me this week that setting up a homeschool schedule (or "routine" if "schedule" is the other "s" word for you!) is much like moving into a new kitchen. As we've moved into a new year of homeschooling and have begun "unpacking" our new curriculum, I've been getting a "feel" for where certain subjects should "go." Math in the morning? History after lunch? Science twice a week? When should we read aloud? Does art have to go on Fridays? Wouldn't it be fun to start Monday morning with an art project? There's no right or wrong time to do those subjects, so it's simply what "feels" best and works in your daily "school life." And, just like in your kitchen when you put things out of reach or hidden away, they don't get used. (I have certain platters I haven't seen in years!) Poorly timed subjects simply don't get done most of the time at our house. If I tuck something away for Friday afternoon, I may be so tired by then I decide it's not that important after all. That subject becomes a poor, forgotten Christmas platter...

I've gotten other family's schedules before and tried to implement them in our home, and they just haven't worked. Some of them I haven't even had to try to know they wouldn't work! (Starting school at 7:00 AM? Notgonnahappen.) Sometimes I have loosely based our routine on how I used to schedule my public school classroom. Other times I would try out schedules I saw on the Well-Trained Mind boards (this is prime season for schedule-sharing!) But I've always ended up either altering them beyond recognition or simply abandoning them and coming up with something completely new. Do a Google search on "homeschool scheduling" and see what comes up! You can find as many sample schedules and suggestions as there are homeschool families out there. But, our families are as different as our kitchens. For you to replicate my routine would be like me telling you your potholders should go in that drawer under your oven. (What? You don't have a drawer under your oven? Exactly!) Additionally, while it is true that as a homeschooler I have the same kids every year, I also have different kids every year. Each year they are different ages, have different abilities, growing maturity levels and changing preferences. It's practically a new kitchen every year!

So... this week we have begun moving in. We started math, language, reading, writing and history. We'll add foreign languages and science next week. God-willing, we'll be cooking on all burners by the week of Labor Day. I'm praying God's direction for you as you begin unpacking your year and stirring up school!